So, the previous bundle of words that I pushed to you via the information superhighway was a bust. The one and only comment I received on it was from my good self, not that I’m blaming YOU, deary me, no! In fact, it was during the very first edition of this epic undertaking that I did indeed state that this whole sorry saga would primarily be for my own benefit. Something to allow me to uncork the plug from my brain and pour out any excess thoughts into a pool. A pool that I could then reflect upon later. A reflecting pool. AAAAARRGHIKNNNNNNOOOOOWWWWW!!!
Stocks are down. Money are down. All are down.
Do. Not. Fear.
I have the sweet sweet tonic that you need to calm your fears, settle your wearied mind and to soothe your cantankerous soul. So, if you please very much; take a seat right there and loosen up those tight, stifling clothes (yeah...yeah, just like that) and take this hot cup of what I got.
Let’s kick off this brand NEW edition OF the FATBOMB! 2013! WE DOING IT! YEAH!
If you were expecting, nay, requiring the best wrought and written words that I've ever produced for this series of blogs, then I'm afraid I must let you know upfront that you are about to be mighty be disappointed. Once again I had to rush this mother out there in somewhat of a state of incompleteness, and for that I am sorry. I need to get some polish to rub all over the next edition.
Gotta go fast
This month I are mostly been playing Sleeping Dogs and XCOM: Enemy Unknown, both of which I acceptably completed in my opinion, although I've yet to reach for the 100% in either game...yet. Now watch out, because the bunch of games that I'm going list are definitely not in any sort of state of completion, and will, in all probability, require the rest of this year for me to get through (not enough good games to play throughout the year of 2013, hmm?). These games are these:
- Dishonored
- The Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection
- Metal Gear Solid HD Collection
- Hitman: Absolution
- Halo 4
- Syndicate (both the 1993 and 2012 versions)
- Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
- Oh, and SimCity is out in 35 days.
- Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
With all that being writ, it’s actually a gaming-related pastime, and it is only tangentially related to the sport of gaming, that’s been taking up quite a bit of my free time these past few weeks. Consider yourselves fairly warned with these words; it can be addictive to the soul, obsessively compulsive to the brain, and a surly temptress luring your eyes and fingers to their very doom. I am, of course, talking about...
Speedrunning.
- Take a video game you know and love.
- Now destroy it in every conceivable way. Strip it back to its bits and bytes, learn everything that maketh the game the very thing that it is. Use that knowledge to reorder the very nature of its being. Master it. Over and over and over again.
- Then do that about 40 or 50 times over the course of many months and several years.
- And you’re good to go!
Sounds scary, right? I know, I know, it was and continues to be consistently terrifying to my every sense. BUT ALSO SO VERY RIGHT. I encourage you all to take a look at the fantastic feats of these glorious girls and guys whom create a video game playing experience very much not of this world.
Whilst I had been aware of the scene for a few years, it had never really sparked a further interest or deeper appreciation within me. That is, not until I bore witness to the events that unfolded during the live annual charity event put on by the two biggest websites in the sport, SpeedRunsLive and Speed Demos Archive. This extravaganza of speed is a non-stop cavalcade of gaming for an entire week. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Seeing such a multitude of different games and the ways in which they could be bent to their runner's will was astounding, the skill and effort that was on display meant that I could not help myself in signing up with SRL and SDA before the very first day was out.
Does anyone here have the bug for running? Were you even aware that this was even a thing? Let me know, so we can take each other's hands and lead ourselves into this dark land.
Here are some vidcon video links to give you a taste:
Batsu
Custom Valves
Fall down this wonderful hole with me, go on...I dare thee! If you brave this dangerous journey then you too can have sick art all up in your Steam libraries. Don't know how to do this wonderful thing? Well, all you have to do is 1. Load up Steam 2. Select Grid View from the top right corner of your library, that'll make all the games turn into pictures 3. From there, simply right click on any one of those pictures and select Set Custom Image 4. Pick your poison, and it's off to the races you go!
I did these, for example:
Once you go textless you never go backness. It is truly a work of art to see all these works of art displayed in a fashion that treats the eyes to a veritable feast of colour and shape. Join me or die. If/when you do come to your senses and you want to give this a right good go yourself, all you have to do is make your objet d'art fit inside a 460x215 sized image file (png for life).
Rocking around the clock
So, playing video games whilst streaming them out to the world using the Internet? THat’s never been done before, right!? Well, I’ll break this newly sodden ground with my hoe of virtue and get right on that thing. Soon. Soon. To that end, I propose that anyone and everyone reading this thing should help me decide on which games I should play within a set period of time. A period of time around, let’s say, TWENTY AND FOUR HUMAN HOURS? Oh, and for charity of something, I guess.
For some reason I have it in my head that I should play 24 games within those 24 hours. I don’t know why, maybe I won’t because it’s really stupid. Maybe not. Either way, I’d like some input on what might be cool to show the whole world. If the whole world had undergone a near-total annihilation by Mega Virus, leaving about four people left alive to actually watch my stream.
Some of these games have had a few hours put into them, whilst others have nought but scant few minutes devoted to them. The one thing they do all share is that I have not reached the kill screen on any of them. Because of my ineptitude and lack of coolness, I'm still not quite sure as to whether or not I should be making my way through a larger volume of smaller games (just to give them a go) or if I should just duder up and actually complete, say, two or three larger games (to be totally sick). Suggestions to me on a SAE.
Video games which came out three or more years ago count as older. Video games which didn't, count as newer. The dates y’all see down below are when the game came out, and the platform you see down yonder is the platform I own aforementioned game upon.
I'll try not to be late with these bloody things again. I swear. Really really really. No, I mean it this time, you just gotta believe me, man. I-I just need a bit more time, okay? I’ll get your money, okay! PUH-P-PLEASE DON’T KILL ME AND MY FAMILY!!
Peace up and out duders!
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(I promise nothing)
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